I cant get no sleep
working nights is ok, its just the first few normal days afterwards I develop horrible insomnia. even sudoku doesnt work as a sedative. And if insomnia is bad when you are single, lying in the same bed as someone who is obviously having a lovely refreshing nights sleep is not fun.But it does give you space to think. and in between interviewing myself about the difficult second album that I am soon to be releasing and imagining myself on wife swap I managed to have some rational thoughts.
Firstly: Rationality and religion.
Being a very emotional being, I am questioning at the moment the role emotion has in our relationship with God.
I've spent probably the last year removing emotion from my beliefs to fully examine where it all comes from. why do I believe what I believe etc. But now I think its time to start putting it back together.
I fully believe that most 'encounters with God' have some emotional manipulation attatched to them. in an environment where people are whipped into a frenzy you are always going to feel something. However, I dont want to become cynical. I'm sure I've had experiences of peace in still quiet places by myself, can that be explained as emotional manipulation?
I guess what I'm trying to work out is where does emotion figure in our relationship with God. can we have emotional experiences (i dont mean crying and screaming I just mean experiences of 'feeling' God rather than rationalising) without being able to explain them as 'just talking to ourselves' or emotional manipulation?
I think this is a largely girlie problem. speaking to different people it seems that men have no problem doing away with the emotional side of faith, whereas for women this is the side of God they most relate to and most enjoyed as evangelical christians. So loosing a God of emotion is heartbreaking. how does is all work?
Also...
bit of fun now, I enjoyed Vic's quiz on her website, and I know that if theres one thing that everyone loves it is talking about themselves. I love reading the guardian question time each saturday, so I thought I'd let us indulge ourselves further! (I've also answered it myself - my narcissistic tendancies run deep!)
1.What is your idea of Perfect Happiness?
2.What is your greatest fear?
3.What has been your most embarrasing moment?
4.What is your most treasured possession?
5.What do you dislike most about your appearance?
6.Who would play you in a movie of your life?
7.What is your most unappealing habit?
8.What is your choice of fancy dress costume?
9.Cat or Dog?
10.is it better to give or recieve?
11.To whom would you most like to say sorry?
12.What has been your biggest dissappointment?
13.How do you relax?
14.What song would you like played at your funeral? (dont worry, its not a threat!)
15.How would you like to be remembered?
posted by jodes da princess @ 2:33 PM
5 Comments:
1.lying in with Jon on a saturday morning, listening to Jonathan Ross,reading the paper with my kids jumping on the end of the bed.
2.that God really doesnt exist
3.most recent, telling off a consultant like he was a child (didnt realise he was a consultant!)
4.My engagement ring, or maybe my wooden treasure chest
5.feet teeth and boobs
6.in my youth - reese witherspoon, in my adulthood - felicity kendall, in my elderly years - Audrey hepburn
7.Ask Jon
8.Bride!
9.yuck. neither.
10. depends if we're talking chocolate or a blow to the head.
11.Jessica Warburton
12.God isnt who I thought he was
13.Wine,open(gas)fire, american sitcoms, cuddles.
14.either: Heaven must be missing and angel-Tavares, light and day-polyphonic spree, Magic - ben folds five, or nobody does it better - Carole King
15.Forget being remembered, I want to live forever!
14.
Hey Jodes, its a shame you didn't get that work post back up, I've been thinking about you not being very happy being a nurse. I'm gutted you're not finding it to be what you thought.
I think the HIV thing would be great for you, but I don't know, I'm no medic! But my mum used to be a nurse, so I've asked her to have a think.
I think the emotion thing is so central to not only our faith, but our lives. Its similar to your Jon's discussion about subjectivity in a way. Because I wonder if we can remove our emotions from something. We are all emotional beings, guys as much as girls, (just men supress them more (come on guys, lets all have a cry together...)) and everything that we go through in life we have an emotional response to. Girls do have different, more direct emotional responses to things than men though. But its not a choice to respond emotionally or not, we have to.
So I wonder if instead of removing your emotions from your beliefs, you've in fact been adding a different set of emotions. Now I fully agree that people whip things up to manufacture an emotional response (but thats still not to say that emotional responses in those situations is not genuine), and that can be totally destructive in the long term to peoples faith.
When I think about it though, if we were to have some sort of interaction with God, it would make sense to have some sort of emotional response to it- even quite a dramatic one. And maybe rather than becoming cynical, you will just be becming more aware of your own reaction to peoples leading in meetings or wherever. Which is a really good thing
I think that it may be good to ask some questions if we find ourselves in a situation where we are beginning to get emotional. Like: when did I start feeling these emotions- before/ after the music/ leader started screaming, how did I feel before the meeting, am I mirroring other peoples behaviour, do my feelings seem made up and contrived etc. And then we can maybe begin to cut the wheat from the chaff a bit more.
Jodie, Good questions. As you can appreciate, I too have struggled with this one. Here are my thoughts.
Emotional experiences aren't always a result of manipulation, I've found them to be generally extremely positive throughout my early twenties. The problem comes when we mistake the emotional response for the presence of God (what I did as a teenager). I get more of an emotional buzz (classic presence of God type feelings) when in a crammed pub watching Wales play England than I ever do in church.
We are emotional beings, and should not aim to quench one of our most potent spiritual resources. Bring back emotion!
Kiera, I don't think it is more girlie than male. I was interested in presence and all that too (maybe I'm a girlie guy though) but my presence was more masculine than the way you describe it. Let's ask Trevor, girliest guy I know, to see what he thinks (I bet his Jesus wears pink).
Do I think it exists? I am cynical. I reckon 99.99% if not 100% of my experiences were all made up. But, of course, that doesn't mean that it can't happen.
Trev, I've got to say that I disagree about women being controlled by their emotions more than men. I think that womens surface level emotions are more subject to change, but that does not mean that men are any less controlled by their emotions.
Stubborness, ambivelence, aggresiveness, etc are all emotions that men regularly feel.
And I'm not sure about not putting God's name on our human inadequacies. I think that is exactly what He has done. God seems to have chosen the church as His body, His representatives on earth. That gives us a great responsibility.
What do you mean by the vast majority of God being found in logical reading inside the Bible? If you look at most people's reactions to meeting Jesus or God in the Bible, they are extremely emotional. I think that God has created us to have emotional responses to Him, not just logical, reasoned ones.
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