The Green Godess

when Hollywood touches earth...

posted by jodes da princess @ 8:44 PM 14 comments

little known facts about 'The Hoff'

1. When the Hoff goes to give blood he rejects the syringe, prefering instead a handgun and a bucket.

2. The game 'doom' originated when Satan borrowed $2 from david and forgot to pay him back.

3. When the Hoff jumps into a body of water he doesnt get wet, the water gets david.

4. When he runs, his legs dont move quicker, the world revolves faster.

5. 98% of human hair originates from the hoff's chest, the remaining 2% comes from his fro.

6. There is no such thing as the theory of evolution, just a list of creatures the hoff allows to live.

7. David penned his first autobiography 'Star Wars' in 1976. it has since been turned into a series of movies under the pen name 'george luchoff'

8. The saying 'Rome wasnt built in a day' is actually untrue. in fact, the Hoff built it during his lunchbreak whilst filming Baywatch

9. The Hoff's tears can cure most of the worlds life-threatening diseases. unfortunately the hoff never cries.

10. in the average living room there are 1,252 items the Hoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.

11. David coined the phrase 'I could eat a horse' after he had eaten every last unicorn in existence.

12. The Hoff invented black. in fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

13. David can set fire to ants with a magnifying glass. At night.

14. David once played russian roulette with a fully loaded handgun and won.

15. The eternal conundrum 'what happens when an unstoppable force meets and immoveable object' was solved when the hoff punched himself in the face.

posted by jodes da princess @ 10:51 AM 8 comments

Scientology for beginners...

Watch this. its surprisingly accurate!

posted by jodes da princess @ 9:43 PM 5 comments