Saturday, January 28, 2006

Is my dad secretly Noel Edmunds?



My attention has recently been drawn to the new 'game' show on channel 4. deal or no deal is a show fronted by Noel Edmonds (who, without a doubt has a few crossman genes somewhere in his make-up). the basic premise is 12 people with boxes of varying values, and one person choosing which box to open, hoping that their own box is of the highest value...and thats it really. the job of noel edmonds is to pace around like a prowling lion trying to make, what is essentially a not-that-high-tech coin-tossing experiment look like it needs skill and cunning to achieve.

But it is very compulsive viewing, not least for noels conversations with 'the banker' a faceless entity who offers the main player amounts of money to quit the game. Noel acts his way through these conversations like he is conversing with deity, conveying to the audience, almost, that their very lives hang in the balance of the contents of the box. I am amazed by his skill to create tension out of nothing, like an actor screaming at a blue screen which will eventually show a cgi monster.

Or perhaps it is that I am perplexed by the audience lapping up noels 'witty' banter, hanging on his every word, gasping at the skill it requires to guess which box has £250 000, and more so, perplexed that I am one of the audience. A large slice of our television programming has become like panto with cash prizes. At least Big Brother has some elements of social commentary!

Or is it just that it scares me that he looks so much like my dad?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Tea-the drink of champions


Thought you all might like to know how to make a perfect brew:
- select a decent tea (fair trade obviously) using 1 teabag per 1-2 people
- boil a kettle of freshly drawn water, but wait a few seconds before pouring as boiling water scalds the leaves and spoils the flavour.
- pour a little of the hot water into the teapot (oh yes, one must use a teapot) and swirl it around to warm the pot.
- Steep the tea for 3-5 minutes according to taste
- Serve with or without milk or lemon, and a lovely homemade victoria sponge.

you are now a domestic Godess, and a jolly decent Englishman too!
For more tea and decency go to: www.teadirect.co.uk

Saturday, January 21, 2006

made me laugh

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ever seen these two in the same room?






Feeding the hungry, giving the poor a roof over their heads, looking after the emotional and spiritual well being of all mankind, rising from the dead?!?!

Is anyone else seeing the dramatic parallells between Susan K and Jesus C? I mean, neighbours has never been one to avoid hammering home a christian message wherever possible - everybody needs good neighbours - I ask you, it's practically plaigerising the bible.

Maybe neighbours is a post modern parable for us all. maybe we should be urging our friends to turn from their wicked Eastenders habits to follow the only way. join me in a pilgrimage to Ramsay Street....

Saturday, January 14, 2006

grumble grumble grumble



Is there any point in complaining?

I ask this from a point of having recieved complaints from people all day yesterday, about the appaling lack of resources in the NHS, about humans making human errors, about the general state of life. and I answered them all with the same answer 'I'm very sorry, is there anything I can do to help' when of course I was really thinking 'I dont care, please leave me alone I am very busy and important.' and of course, there is nothing I can really do to help, short of reforming the NHS.

So what is the point of complaining? on the very few times I have complained I have always been met with the company policy line. which doesnt make me feel any better. and I'm sure it doesnt highlight the persons day that I complained to either.

one thing I always say is dont complain unless you are willing to do something about it. but is there really any value in having these negative thoughts anyway? we are becoming a nation of complainers and I hate it.

on a totally seperate subject, I have totally been drawn in to celebrity big brother against all of my best intentions. and I have to say that I have totally changed my view of Jodie Marsh. I always thought she was a very bitter hurt mess. and though she is still all these things, she's also really funny, I loved her swimming pool comment about michael barrymore (who I cant stand). I think she's fantastic and its a shame she left the house!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

squashed tomatoes and stew


Can I have a list of everyones birthdays please. one of my new years resolutions was to remember and acknowlege all of my friends birthdays, so if you want a card (and quite possibly a present depending on the financial situation that month) please tell me when your birthday is.

For those of you that do not already celebrate it, my official birthday is on 1st January so you have missed it (though belated gifts are still valid and appreciated, ben) however, my state birthday is 5th june, so please feel free to join the parade. hoorah for birthdays!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

currently vexing me



Gillian sodding mckeith. I cant stand the woman. I am all for healthy eating, but she's like hitler!I've just watched a programme where she has banned chocolate, alcohol, smoking (probably not the worst idea) takeaways, salt, fun, flavour and christmas. in favour of alfafa beans, miso soup and nettle tea.

Has life got this sad? do we really care so much about being slim that we rule out everything we enjoy? (I realise I am speaking from a position of jealousy and obesity). I resent this. she's going in my room 101. (if this was on paper you'd see the chocolate stains from my fingers!)